Sunday, November 27, 2005

Marketing Halakha

This is the closest I ever came to using foul language in a post. It seems that Jewish retailers can't help but make it seem as though their products were custom designed for Jews and therefore holy.

First, via GH, is the Holy Compass:
An amazing, attractive, compass that defies nature as it spins and stops in the direction of our prayers and dreams- Jerusalem! No computer chips, no circuitry, this non-electric, patented device, defies the laws of nature to point directly toward Jerusalem from any place you are in the world.

The compass ships in an elegant jewelry case and is recommended by leading Rabbi's
(Rav Moshe Halbershtam, shlit"a, Rav Moshe Sternbuch, shlit"a, Rav Yosef Lieberman , shlit"a).

Second, via BTA, is the Shabbos Alarm Clock:
* Shabbat Mode- All alarms shut off by themselves after one minute! Once set, no need to touch your KosherClock on Shabbos! NO PROBLEM WITH MUKTZAH.
* 5 Beep Alarms- on Shabbos wake up for shacharis, enjoy a snooze, don't miss your chavrusa and be on time for mincha.
* Record Feature- on weekdays only, wake up to the voice of a loved one, or a recorded melody. (Do not use recorded alarms on Shabbat.)
* Photo Frame- holds a 2.4" x 2.7" picture.

Auto Shut-off Alarm Clock for Shabbat with 5 alarms and weekday recording
For example: Set the first alarm to go off at 8:00am. Set the second alarm for 8:15am. Each alarm will ring for one minute and then shut itself off automatically. No need to touch your KosherClock. The effect will be just like a snooze alarm. And to make sure you don't accidentally touch any of the buttons when you are still half asleep, KosherClock has a special hard flip cover as a heker. Perhaps you'll set the third alarm for 9:00am for your wife. The fourth alarm can be set at 4:00 pm to wake you for your afternoon chavrusah. And if you tend to get carried away with your learning, set the fifth alarm to warn you that it's time to walk to Shul for mincha.

What a fabulous gift idea, for Bar Mitzvah, Graduation, Birthday or especially for Grandparents living in another town.
I don't get the granparents thing. My grandfather is up at 5:00AM and he doesn't need no sticking alarm clock.

Would be uncouth to wonder how much money was involved in obtaining haskamas for these items? Some days I am embarrassed to be a member of the tribe.